I don't ever remember complaining this much in my life. However, I never remember feeling this horrible before. I just feel like I could curl up in a ball and go to sleep forever. Even as I'm typing this my eyes are shut, I'm listening to music, and imagining the clock saying 12 o'clock so I can kick back in my office and take a nap. Yes...I'm spoiled; but this is the kinda of spoiled I would rather not be.

I had to leave Benjamin's baseball game Tuesday night because it was so horribly cold. I'm still feeling the effects in my joints, muscles and bones from sitting in the weather for little over an hour. I can't stand this feeling anymore...and it's only going to get worse when summer gets here. We HAVE to have an air conditioning system this year or I may truly not live through it. Last year was bad enough.

I wish I just had a name, an answer, a path. I feel like people are looking at me like I'm faking cause I'm a 32 year old that feels like I'm 90!!!! Even our kids have gotten to the point where they will say, no Momma can't play today; she doesn't feel well. I am just hoping for some kind of light at the end of the tunnel after Tuesday's appointment with the new rheumatologist. After 18 years of this crap just progressively getting to the point where I want to kill others or myself just to put us out of my misery, I need an answer.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been disconnected due to energy conservation!