I never thought about my ills on a serious level before until April 14. That was until my appointment with the new rheumatologist. She has turned my life upside down. I haven't gotten my labs back yet, which isn't as important as the call I'm waiting on today. I had my bone scan yesterday...and of course, dumbass me hit the internet last night. After my full body scan, the nurse decided to add a couple extra pictures. The first one was between my chest & abdomen. I didn't think anything of it until another nurse walked in the room. She called her over to look at the screen; of course I couldn't hear anything they were saying EXCEPT kidneys. Then she said, I'm taking the picture over again just to confirm - RED FLAG on the play!!!! My mind started going in overdrive. My grandmother had all the same symptoms as I do (never diagnosed), she unexpectedly died at 48 with kidney failure (& they don't know why).

The rheumatologist also requested separate pictures of my hands and feet. No big deal, I understand the concept. When I was walking out the door, I looked on the monitor and saw my hands. My wrists were glowing white, like I was wearing glow-in-the-dark bracelets! So, I got home and went on an internet adventure. The first absolutely shocking thing I found out is doctors don't normally request a FULL body bone scan unless they are looking for cancer, either cancer that starts in the bone or cancer that has spread from somewhere else, like breast, lung, etc. If it's arthritis or such, they will do portions, like the hands & feet...this is usually enough to confirm the diagnosis. Next, I researched all the things bone scans are supposed to detect: bone/marrow cancer (primary or secondary), bone lymphoma (a different type of bone cancer involving the lymphatic system of the body), bone infections, and arthritic conditions --- in that order.

UGH!!!!!!!! I can't wait for her to call me back. I've already decided if she asks me to come into the office, I'm going to say no and make her tell me over the phone. This way I can deal with things on my own terms. Of course the unknown wasn't a problem when I didn't know it was unknown. But now that someone else knows, I don't want to be an unknown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!