I have just been thinking back over what my life has been like, what makes me the way I am, who shaped my virtues and ethics, so on and so forth.

I also wondered how to keep our kids on the straight and narrow, without being narrow-minded and short-sighted. What was the defining moment to make me say no to a joint, what made me not become an alcoholic, why didn't I get pregnant and ruin my life, why didn't I go away to college, could I have done things differently and ended up the same. How am I going to have our boys make the same, right decisions? OK, maybe they aren't "right" decisions, but they definitely weren't wrong, right?

What does the future hold? Will I be a grandma to a few adopted kids from my gay sons? Will I be the mom of an astronaut or serial killer? What one decision do I make that makes all the difference?

Everyone knows I am NOT a religious person...I don't really believe in things that don't follow the five senses. However, I do believe I'm spiritual (which really just throws a wrench in the past sentence), but for some reason it makes sense to me. I believe in reincarnation, ghosts, aliens, kharma...so what does this mean? Am I confusing the two? If I would release myself to this "higher power" would my life change? If so, better or worse? I see "God", as people call it (don't really want to debate if there's a her or him), as a scapegoat. People don't want to take responsibility for the good or bad happening in their life, so they credit GOD for their troubles or joys. What happened to the "I" in responsibility and accountability????? I pulled the trigger, he died, end of story...get a grip people.

Ya know, when I played sports we would win or lose, but we learned how to be good sports either way. Now we have kids that don't keep score...so are we raising a generation of "let's just be friends cause we're scared of good competition"? Pansy-asses.